Lessons From the Marathon and My Life. Part 1 - You need a team.



I'm sharing four lessons from the marathon that also have enriched my life.

Part 1 - You Need a Team

Jim Rohn famously said, "You become the average of the five people you spend the most time with." Therefore, choose the people you share the road with wisely. While we don’t always have a choice about the people in our lives—family, classmates, co-workers, and neighbors are often given to us—it’s essential to thoughtfully evaluate our relationships. Sometimes, we stick with companions out of convenience, habit, or simply because we haven’t deeply considered whether these relationships support or drain us. Just as we should cultivate nourishing relationships, we must also be willing to prune away toxic ones.

Consider the various domains of your life where you interact with others. Each has its own set of "Big Five" relationships:

  • Reading: Who are the authors you spend the most time with? The books you read are conversations with their authors. Choose wisely which words and ideas you allow to populate your mind.

  • Internet: Who are your virtual friends? We spend significant time communicating with people we may never meet in person. Reflect on whether these digital interactions enhance or drain you. Evaluate whether you need to join or part ways with certain online communities or apps.

  • Spiritual/Religious: Regardless of whether you are running or not, consider your spiritual and religious companions. Do you invest time in these relationships?  Do you choose to run with them?  Do you feel differently when you run with them? 

  • Physical: Engaging with running communities provides multiple benefits. In Pittsburgh, I run with a group through various conditions—cold, rain, snow, and sunshine. They have supported me through falls, cuts and bruises and I have done the same for them. Knowing that we won’t leave each other behind is a profound source of trust and camaraderie.

Emotional Support: These are the people who understand your struggles and motivations, offering support, encouragement, and sometimes tough love.

Competition in the Best Spirit: The very first social psychological research report, Norman Triplett’s 1898 research on Social Facilitation revealed that people perform tasks faster when doing them with others, even without direct competition. I’ve found that running with a group accelerates my pace during training and races.

Practical Suggestions:

  • Join a running group
  • Find a running buddy
  • Get a coach
  • Mentor a runner
  • Participate in races

In the next blog post: Showing Up is 90% of the Job.


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